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What Do I Want You to Know


What do I want you to know?


A Poem by Rachel Forbes


I want you not only to know about the times


that were clearly and expectedly confusing and heartbreaking,


but also about the moments that lived and live in silence


and loneliness.


The moments during which


there were no words, no shared


or taught language.


The slight, and glossed in pity ~or love~,


glances and clichés that were assuming or spoken


at the super market


in line


in the waiting room


in class


at a stoplight


or while standing in a room with no one who looks like me


or sees me. 


The simultaneous distance and yearning


when you’re betwixt and between,


a l w a y s .


The constant flow of curiosities


that feel like secrets, even when I’m told they’re not.


But they show up in moments that are intimate,


sacred, and just between me and her.


I want you to know that I carry them.


And those who also experience them carry them too.


I also just want you to listen with love.


Just love.


And that’s it.



 

Rachel is a Korean American transracial adoptee and Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a private psychotherapy practice based in Connecticut. Utilizing mind/body and holistic therapeutic approaches, she specializes in attachment trauma and adoption, helping individual clients strengthen their connection with their inner worlds and self-leadership. Rachel also speaks publicly about the adoptee experience, offers trainings for professionals, and hosts and facilitates support groups for adult adoptees. Check out her website here.

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