Becca really made me believe that I would be a mom! Lisa, NY
As a single woman in my early 40s, I struggled with unexplained infertility. Through that struggle, I turned to foster care to fulfill my love for children and my dream of being a mother. My journey as a foster parent led me to an eight-month placement with a child that was eventually reunified with his family. It was difficult being attached to that child, caring for him, and then feeling empty after he was reunified. I knew reunification was the goal of foster care, but it didn’t hurt any less. It was after this placement that I knew I wanted to turn to domestic infant adoption and grow a family of my own.
Family has always been a huge part of my life, and with their blessings and support I knew I had to pursue my dream of growing my own family. I was bitter, exhausted, emotionally beat up, and needed guidance. Luckily, a friend of mine recommended RG Adoption Consulting after she saw a post on a single mom’s Facebook group. I’m so glad she did, because Becca was one of the first people to say this dream could come true for me and then not let me give up. She really made me believe that I would be a mom, despite being single, despite being over 40, despite being infertile and despite feeling judged and rejected. I had always been a woman of great tenacity but I had forgotten that somewhere along the way. With Becca by my side I felt empowered to push through any fears that lingered including the fear of more rejection and judgement. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience, as I was provided with the right resources and information to guide me on my journey to adopting my daughter.
Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely moments of difficulty throughout my journey. And a fair amount of judgment and rejection but none of that mattered in the long run.
I no longer felt like I was in the driver’s seat. I was lacking a sense of control, which was especially hard during the long periods of waiting – for completion of the home study, for return of clearances and other documents that I had already completed multiple times for foster care, for the match, for the birth, for relinquishments. Truly the most difficult and heart-wrenching part of this experience was my failed match. It was the worst part of my adoption journey. The expectant mother, with whom I was matched, was missing for 24 hours. It was 24 hours of agony for me, but when I finally heard she decided to parent, I was glad she was safe and I respected her decision. However, after that failed match there was a risk of losing hope again. And there I needed Becca most of all. And there she was.
About a month after the birth of the baby boy I thought may have been my forever family, but was not, I was presented to a Latina birth mother, expecting a girl in less than a month. I had hoped and prayed for a girl. And I spoke Spanish. But again I was rejected. However, I didn’t lose hope. I knew in my heart it was meant to be. And two weeks later she reconsidered and we agreed to go forward with the match.
The happiest day of my life will forever be, November 16th, the day my daughter came “home” to our hotel for the ICPC wait. It truly made all the emotional stress and pain undeniably worth it. Thanksgiving came a week later and could not have been a better first holiday for us. Every time I look at mi hija I feel gratitude and joy!
Although I had worked with Becca as my primary consultant, I felt part of a community with RG Adoption Consulting. I will always remember how comforting it was when one of their other consultants, Rachel, came to visit me at our hotel away from home. They have built a wonderful community that I know will always be there for me.
Today, I continue to have semi-open relationship with my daughter’s birthmother. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for my family, and I am forever thankful for the guidance and support that RG Adoption Consulting provided me.