Many of our stories begin the same way. We come to adoption because of our desire to raise a sweet child to care and nurture forever. We want to add to our families, our legacy. Since I was a little girl, I knew I was going to be a mother, but I never thought too much beyond that. As I grew older, I found that my life didn’t match a lot of what my friends experienced with husbands and children of their own. Instead of meeting the man of my dreams, I explored an odyssey of different career choices and learned about life along the way. I traveled as much as I could and I stretched the boundaries of my job choices. By the time I found my groove, however, I was in my late 30’s and dating a string of men that didn’t “wow” me one way or the other. So when push came to shove, I decided to go to what I always wanted to do in the first place: adoption.
Since I am a single lady, busy working in the city and looking to adopt, I knew I needed some help to comb through the fine print that I knew would be mandatory for adoption. I have a busy, fast-paced job, so looking for a consultant who could tell me what to do was key. I googled my way to Rebecca Gruenspan. Upon our first meeting, I knew that Becca was my friend. She was so engaging and was truly excited that I wanted to take this route. I was also pretty excited to work with a woman who was very similar to me. Single and with a sweet desire to still raise a family. She did it with success and wanted to share her expertise. This was my kind of consultant! She walked the walk and knew the talk. So in that, we began the journey.
I needed help navigating the fine print and understanding what I needed to have in place for my expectations, home study, profile book and agency choices. I’m so glad I found Becca when I did.
I went through the motions to complete my home study as quickly as I could. It took a while to gather all the documents, but it was not as hard as I thought it would be. It was a great feeling to get approved! Once I completed my next step, which was to create my profile book, I began to look at agencies with Becca’s guidance. During this time, however, I rekindled a relationship with an ex-boyfriend and became pregnant out-of-the-blue. It was a massive surprise. This put a halt in the middle of my adoption process. I was so wrapped up in creating a family, but the sudden switch of gears threw me off. Unfortunately, my pregnancy didn’t last nor did my relationship. It was a setback, but it reinforced my desire to adopt even more.
Becca helped me keep my eye on the prize. She was also very real with me and down to earth with the best advice for me in particular. She also did not waver in moments when I was testy about the process either. I can be stubborn sometimes, but she pushed me through the hard parts but was never a pushover herself. She was a straight shooter and a beam of light in a very challenging time. I am eternally grateful for that.
After I spent some time mourning my loss, I began again. I knew in my heart my original approach was correct. I applied to a few agencies that were open to working with single parents. I knew I was still doing the right thing. I matched with an expectant mom due with a baby girl within 3 weeks of applying! I was overjoyed!
I flew to Florida a few weeks before her delivery and had the opportunity to meet the birthmother. Becca helped me prepare for the visit. The birth mother and I got along well, but my gut told me this could be a problem- and it was. Weeks later, the birthmother changed her mind, and I had a failed adoption. I was heartbroken. But just like my last setback, I knew I had to keep going. Without skipping a beat, I worked with both Becca and the agency to try again. And wouldn’t you know it- in a matter of weeks, I matched with another baby girl! This time I wanted to be more involved with the birthmother. The failed adoption turned out to be a good lesson on how to navigate the challenges of the adoption process. As I embarked on a new relationship with her, I felt more knowledgeable this time around.
However, there were still challenges. My birthmother didn’t feel connected to her caseworker, which worried me. I reached out and began talking with her to form a good relationship. I was grateful that we clicked really well. I realize this may not work for everyone, but I’m really glad it worked for us. She was a young lady who had other children, and I knew she really cared about keeping in touch. No matter what, it is still her child that she carried, and she never wanted the baby to feel like she just ‘gave her up.’ I completely understood this.
I flew down to her city and met her in person. We instantly knew that we had a spiritual connection to each other. It really meant a lot to both of us. There were times that I had doubts, but I stayed confident in the process and believed that it would work out as it was meant to be.
A few months later, I’m sitting here with my sweet baby Clover in my arms. I can’t believe how in love with her I am! This child is my daughter and everything worked out just as we’d hoped. In adopting her, I found the love of my life, and I am forever grateful for every step of the journey that brought her into my life.