Several years ago my husband and I found out I was a carrier for a genetic condition that causes serious developmental delays. After visiting a genetic counselor, we learned there was about a 50% chance I’d pass it on to a boy and a 38% chance I’d pass it on to a girl. Because of this, we decided to pursue adoption.
Although we were certain of our decision, we had no idea where to start. We didn’t know whether we wanted to pursue an international or domestic adoption, an adoption through the Department of Social Services (DSS), what age child we wanted to adopt, whether we wanted to adopt a child of another race . . . the decisions felt big, difficult to navigate, and overwhelming. We learned about Becca through an adoption podcast we listened to as part of our research and decided to reach out to her. From that point, everything changed.
Becca was an absolute godsend! Right away, she inspired confidence. She answered our questions and helped us turn the research we had done into a plan of action. A few short months after contacting her, we understood what navigating the adoption process would take, had created a storybook to share with birth moms, finalized our home study, and signed up with several different agencies. Not long after that, we were matched.
We flew out to visit our daughter’s birth mom and dad and were able to spend some time with them, see ultrasounds, and feel our daughter moving in her birth mom’s belly. When the time came for our daughter’s delivery, I was able to be in the room and even cut the umbilical cord. I’m a bit of a realist, so I didn’t want to have the expectation that I would bond with our daughter right away. Some relationships take time to build, and I wanted to be prepared to be patient if this was the case. It wasn’t. The minute I held my daughter (honestly, the minute I saw her ultrasound) I was in love. My husband laughs because, about 20 minutes after holding our daughter for the first time, I told him I wanted five more!
We cannot imagine having to go through this process without Becca. Adoption is very costly, so we wanted to save money wherever possible, but we never for a moment regretted hiring Becca. For us, it was the best money we spent. She was always “on top” of things, knew exactly where we were in the process, and what we should be doing. She checked in with us to provide gentle reminders and support when needed, and she always answered our calls quickly, immediately helping us through any difficulties we encountered.
My husband and I are still negotiating about having six children, but when the time comes to adopt baby number two, we will be better prepared to go through the process, and we know we will have an ally in Becca.