A friend of mine (who adopted) told me once that I’ll become the mom of the exact child I should be the mom to, and she was right.
Adoption is a complicated and beautiful process.
Part of my journey was incredibly painful – a failed match after many months of communication with the expectant mom. I found myself mourning a baby, a child, a teenager I never got to meet. I loved Nina Jane the moment we were matched, the moment I saw her hiding in that first ultrasound. I loved her birthmother, as a friend and as a partner of sorts. Like 60%, or so. That’s where I let myself hope. With every contract signed, every text, and image… I let my guard down, and I loved so completely.
I remember exactly when I exhaled. I’d been so careful these last months to keep one foot on the ground, but this last bit: this last moment before the birth, just 20 days away, I took both feet off the ground and was truly happy. What do you do when you let yourself accept a moment and be happy, finally commit to the slider, the crib you’ve been looking at for the last 6 months, hit “buy,” only to be crushed 15 hours later by the news?
That is what it is. Asi es la vida.
Exactly one month later, I got the call about Leila’s birth. I knew this was it. I was her mom!
And I am.
Last year, at this time, was so different. Now, I’m a mom to the most amazing, smiley, sweet, funny daughter.
Rebecca is an incredible consultant, and I can’t imagine navigating this path without her. She was so supportive, patient, and provided a wealth of resources.
My family is complete.
It’s everything and more than I could have imagined. I’m grateful and so appreciative.