In one of my recent blogs, I mentioned getting consumed with the fact that I had passed up a few adoption situations presented to me, making me wonder if I’d ever get presented the “right” opportunity.
This is normal but NOT the way to occupy your thoughts while you ARE waiting.
There are so many things you can do to prepare yourself for bringing a new child into your life. The waiting time is divided into the wait to be matched and then the wait for the birth (and legal transition).
First, if you are into this type of thing, visualization and meditation are powerful! What’s your life going to look like with a baby? I’m sure you’ve dreamt about it a million times. Instead of focusing on NOT getting matched with the right situation, visualize what the right one WILL look like. Because what you focus on, you attract! For me, I did this every night before I fell asleep…which leant itself to many baby dreams!
Now, if you don’t have children already, it also means really relishing those last months of sleeping in in the mornings or being lazy for a few hours in front of the TV. Likely those days will be short-lived, so go ahead and take advantage of it! ☺
Start clearing space in your home for your baby’s arrival. You don’t need to go crazy with everything (maybe save setting up the crib for AFTER the baby is born), but start clearing the clutter and making a plan for when that day comes. In my case, since I was turning my office into a nursery, I cleared out all the office stuff leaving room for baby furniture, but didn’t set anything up just yet. I’m a bit superstitious, so my son’s crib didn’t get assembled until the papers were good and signed! Besides, you don’t know if your wait will be days or years. So, don’t stop living your life, but start to prep.
Once you are matched, one of the many game-plans you will need to have in order is that of childcare (at least if you will be working). Will you be staying home, getting a nanny, a nanny-share, day care, home day care, or any mix thereof? Start figuring out what situation is best for you and your family and doing some basic research.
Speaking of family, how much does your immediate and close extended family know about adoption? It might be a good time, if you haven’t already, for a family meeting where you let your loved ones know what to expect, what your expectations are, and give everyone a chance to ask questions, share concerns, and hopefully be your cheerleaders. Better to start these conversations now!
Books are also a great tool to share with people close to you. A book I bought for each of my family members was “In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption,” by Elisabeth O’Toole . I’m sure there are plenty of others.
Finally, if you have always wanted to challenge yourself to do a marathon, triathlon or the like, the wait is a great time to take your mind off things…because while you want your phone and email accessible to you at all times, you don’t want to overly obsess about when your day will come. It will come! I know, easier said than done!
For me, it was that one-woman cabaret show I’ve always wanted to do but was a little too scared. I rehearsed for months and my last show was performed a week before my baby was born!!! Phew, I got it in!! ☺
I’ve read about so many different things people do while they are waiting. What will you do (or did you do, if you’ve already adopted)? I would love to know!
Until next time,