I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was little. I always assumed I would grow up, meet the love of my life, get married and have children. Life had other plans for me, though. At the age of 18, I experienced some medical issues that would later make it very difficult for me to get pregnant. I also got very caught up with life and career and still have not found the man of my dreams. As I approached my 40th birthday, I decided that I would consider adoption and pursue as a single mother.
I knew from the beginning that I wanted to adopt an infant domestically. I didn’t know anyone who was adopted or who had adopted, so I was going into the process blind. I did some Google searching and found three local adoption agencies. I attended their introduction sessions and quickly chose one agency. In March 2015, I met with my adoption counselor from the agency and jumped in with both feet to get through the approval process. The home study, in-person classes, online classes, CPR classes, and development of my profile book was just the beginning. I couldn’t get through the process fast enough; it was a part time job. In November 2015, I finally finished all the classes, got my home study completed, and finished that profile book. The profile book was the hardest part for me, and the agency provided very little guidance — just some on-line support.
My agency was very honest with me, saying that, as a single parent, my wait may be longer. I told myself I would give it a year before I would pursue other options. Wow, that year went by quickly, and I was only shown one birth mother profile.
Through most of the process, I kept it very quiet, not sharing with a lot of friends and family, but as I got more comfortable talking about adoption, I started to learn so much. I met with a co-worker who had adopted a few years before and she told me about adoption consultants, about which I knew nothing. She introduced me to Rebecca and told me just to talk to her and see what I thought. After our very first conversation, I wished I would have known about adoption consultants — and Rebecca — from the very beginning! We quickly started working together to update and refresh my profile book, and I signed up with four other agencies outside of my home state. After doing little more than waiting for over a year, I spent the next two months refreshing my adoption search. I also was presented with several birth mother profiles of interest in those two months.
After putting my focus back on my adoption journey and working on networking, I received a potential birth mother profile from my original home agency. My counselor called me within minutes of me receiving the email because they were in a hurry to present profiles to the birth mother, as the baby was already born and in the agency’s nursery. She told me to take the night to decide, but something in my heart told me this was the one. I didn’t need to wait overnight; I was for sure interested. I received the birth mother profile on Thursday and the following Tuesday, received the call that the birth mother chose me. Throughout the process, everyone kept telling me that a birth mother often chooses the adopted parents for the most surprising reasons, and they were so right! She chose me because of my golden retriever being named Bella and because she liked that I would have the baby at an onsite daycare at my work. Who knew?!
Two days later, I met the birth mother at a local restaurant, and one week later, I brought my daughter home. After waiting 15 months, I had my daughter at home with me in less than a week and half.
While I was matched with my original agency, I truly believe that starting to work with Rebecca and putting new energy and focus into my adoption journey is what brought my daughter to me. Knowing what I know now, I would have started with an adoption consultant to assist me through the adoption journey in the first place.